Well! Isn’t this a turn up for the books? I’ve procrastinated again! How surprising . . . . not! Ugh!
“Gosh I wish I wasn’t like this!”
This used to be my first thought when I realised I’d not done something I promised myself I would do. But not today. . . . You see yesterday I received a morning journal in the post that is designed to help with my morning routine - however long that may be. It’s a fairly simple affair, but does leave you accountable . . . to yourself. So far, day 1 is a success. I have meditated, had my glass of water before eating or drinking anything else. I have done my 30 sec plank and I am now WRITING!! Yay!
But I digress, back to my earlier “Gosh” statement . . . I no longer feel this way now. I have come to realise quite clearly, that if I didn’t have these sorts of challenges in my life then there would be nothing to spur me on to be better for myself. Procrastination is one of my bug-bears and I really don’t like it when I do it, but since becoming more consciously aware of it I can now more easily find ways to take active steps towards doing, whatever it is I need to get done.
It is all part of the “becoming more conscious of myself and my actions” process I seem to be going through in this phase of my life. For all its challenges and questionable decisions I’ve made over the last 5 years, I am really, really enjoying this part of my life, as I FINALLY have some time and space in my life to be able to focus on me! My inner self. The part of me that has been neglected all these years whilst I’ve done all the other wonderful things my life has offered to me.
I now LOVE the fact that I am a Mum! And I realise that this is so because I had put in the hard yards when the kids were little. I made the conscious decision, back then, to be there for them, even though I felt completely out of my depth without a clue in the world about how to care for these little people I had running around my legs, properly! It was all a mystery to me at the time, but somehow I got through it and my darlings have all grown to be very fine young men of whom I am excessively proud. :-)
I realise, that had I not accepted this challenge into the “unknown of parenthood” back then that I wouldn’t be where I am now realising just how bloody lucky I am to have been fortunate enough to have children. That had I not accepted the challenge of starting a business overseas, in a country completely foreign to me, I wouldn’t have the time that I have for myself now. That had I not become interested in Dr Joe’s work on quantum physics last year, that I would not be so at peace with myself now. So many decisions I’ve made in the past have led me to this very point that I’m at now, and I am so very, very grateful for it.
So, I say to you, even if you think you’ve failed, let yourself/someone else down, are useless, hear the inner dialogue, thank it for reminding you of what your next challenge is and then move it along so you can go back and take another positive step towards your ultimate goal. Don’t let one little glitch upend your whole apple cart, let it just be a bump in the road that you have to get over and keep going. You WILL get there. How long it takes is wholly and solely up to you.
And this is the end of my lesson to me this morning! Yay!