I’m really not sure how to feel right now . . . I’ve been meditating and following the works of Dr Joe. He has often said that when things in your life start falling apart that is the time to be excited because the universe is just making space in your life to provide the things you’d really like.
Well, currently there are many things in my life that seem to be falling apart. All at once there seem to be a succession of gadgets, furniture, machines and piping in my house that are currently having conniptions and in need of tender loving care. Today I am waiting on a plumber to come and check out why I have a leak under my sink. (Cue the eye-rolling and grumbling, whilst mopping up excess water with old towels from under and around my sink.)
On a people front, a couple of weeks ago after a string of disrespectful behavioural incidents I sent my youngest son to live with his father for a while. Now I’ve done this before, but it was always understood that it would be for a fixed term, as my ex-husband didn’t want him for more than 6 weeks at a time and none of my sons really wanted to be there with their father and step-mother for any extended length of time either.
This time, however, both my son and my ex-husband have decided not to communicate with me at all regarding my son’s whereabouts or their plans for his schooling, so now I’m not sure what’s going on . . . Now don’t panic, although they’ve not spoken to me directly, I have heard from my other sons that my youngest is with his father. My ex may not be the most stellar of fathers but he can be a decent kind of man when he puts his mind to it, so at least I know my youngest son is safe.
That brings me to where I am today. I am now living in a house with my two eldest sons only. So we are now a house of adults. No children. No school runs, sports matches, training, concerts, other co-curricular activities that I need to drive my “children” to. It’s a really strange feeling to have all the responsibility of having to do all these things on my own, removed from my shoulders. I am now a free agent! I don’t have to plan around anyone else’s activities anymore. So I’m feeling rather . . . . odd, in unknown territory. I’ve been planning my life around other’s needs and wants for soooooo long now that I’m a little at a loss as to exactly what to do with myself.
One thing I can tell you that I am doing is making time for ME.
Time to meditate.
Time to walk my beautiful Reuben five days a week.
Time to do some online courses to help me become a better writer.
Time to sew again, currently I’m updating the couch cover of my settee in the Beach Bar I have on my front verandah!
Time to go through my cupboards and drawers and move along things that I no longer wear, use or need anymore.
Time to write letters to friends overseas that I have fallen out of touch with over the years because of being overwhelmed as a single mum, sole provider, sole taxi, business owner and chief carer to my three beautiful boys and aging mother.
Time to make contact with friends here at home I have drifted away from because of always needing to be there for someone else.
I am also learning to accept that life does NOT have to be hard. I am accepting that life can be and IS easy, joyful, pleasant, happy, blessed, adventurous, challenging and full of lots of lessons from all sorts of experiences, whether seemingly positive at the time or not.
I am learning to embrace the “unknown”. Opening my heart to receive in new love and experiences in all areas of my life.
I am actively changing my routine daily so that I no longer conform to the old programming that holds me in thrall and has thus far stopped me from growing as a person and enlightened spiritual being. In short, I am learning to be the best version of me. Learning to embrace all that I can be and to not be afraid of my own greatness!
Although I have no real clear picture of where the universe is guiding me at any given moment, I am trusting that it is guiding me to the things, experiences, places and people that I am holding front and centre in my mind movies and vision boards, to the best possible outcomes for me.
I have noticed more and more of the synchronicities that are leading me towards these goals and my ultimate life and lifestyle every day. I am happy to see that my efforts to connect with the Divine are bearing fruit, and even though sometimes my meditations may seem to be a complete failure because of excessive mind chatter and not being able to focus properly, they are obviously not. I’m looking forward to my future and the unknown with excessive glee, and although this way of living is all very new to me, I find myself embracing it with open arms.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Plumbing Update: After having paused for 30 minutes in writing this post, where I received the plumber whom I had called to fix the leak under my sink this morning, he has ascertained the problem, gotten a tap from his truck, installed it, tested it and has now left the building, all for a very reasonable price. See, life is meant to be easy and all this before lunch-time on a Friday! Feeling very grateful! :-)