Dumped!

That awkward moment when mid conversation with a friend you suddenly realise that someone who, in the past, you had thought was your friend has relegated you to the “acquaintance” zone. Yes that’s right dear folks, I've even bypassed the friend zone! We used to be besties, but now we’re just barely acquaintances.


Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not so vague that I missed when we stopped being besties but I had thought we were still friends. Apparently not. Long story short is that one day we were best friends and then the next day she trapped me in a car on a long drive and spent it reading out to me an A4 page of typed grievances she had against me. She’d been noting everything down for a month . . .


Let’s just say that she was right in everything she said and that I truly am a terrible friend (I don’t believe I am, but hey, she does) I’m fairly sure there would be a better way of imparting this information to someone in a much gentler manner than trapping them in a car with you whilst they drive and telling you what a louse you are, as not only a friend but, as a person in general.


I was mortified. Not even my ex-husband had come up with a list as comprehensive as hers had become in the space of only a month! I was forced to spend the next two days with her as we were at a workshop together but after that I kept my distance from her for two months. It was just too painful to see her, let alone speak with her. In the space of a car trip and an A4 page she had cut my legs out from under me and I felt as though my whole being was worthless. Her words had left me feeling as though I wasn’t worthy of real friendship from anyone. I was devastated.


I withdrew for a while and threw myself wholeheartedly into any and all of Dr Joe’s meditations. I was determined to grow from this experience. Dr Joe says that he always gets excited when his life seems to be falling apart because that means the universe is rearranging itself to bring new awesome stuff into your life. I decided that this is what I want!


I eventually met up with her after two months and let her know how deeply she’d hurt me and asked her to never give me any personal “feedback” (as she likes to call it) ever again as she was absolutely shite at giving it to friends. She then kept her distance from me for a while but a few weeks later when she made overtures to catch up again I had thought we could move on from this whole terrible situation and continue our friendship with some added and altered ground rules. Apparently this is not the case. . . .

Chatting with another friend of mine the other day she was mentioning that our common friend, let’s call her Ophelia, 90% of the time cancels pre-arranged catch-ups, dinners, functions. I mentioned that this had not been my experience of Ophelia in the past, but definitely was my recent experience of her. It was then that it hit me . . . I’d been dumped as a friend and firmly relegated to the acquaintance zone! Wow! I laughed about it at first but on further reflection I find the whole situation quite sad. This was a woman I was wanting to go into business with. Someone who I had been there for at some of her lowest points to support her and here I was unceremoniously dumped from BFF to acquaintance.


Now some would say that it's probably for the best she's not so much in my life anymore, and perhaps it is, but I can’t help feeling sad that it has happened and that she didn’t have the guts to tell me that she didn’t like the “feedback” I gave her. That my friendship wasn’t worth her effort. That I was not good enough for her as a friend . . . I know, this last statement is just how I feel, but I’ve spent the last couple of days feeling this . . . However, once I’ve written this post that will be the end of that, I’ve decided. There will always be those on this planet who come into your life to show you challenges that you need to overcome and I will always be forever grateful to her for bringing these things to light for me. I have learnt from the things she pointed out. I have taken on board what I believed was mine to “fix” and returned to her what I believed to be hers.


Of course I also have other friends who are more on my current wavelength and this is a great thing that I am ever so grateful for. Onward and upward I say and I am very much looking forward to my future friendships!


#NewFriendships #HealingHeartsWithMeditation #LessonsLearned




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