Learning to Step Back . . .

I was out with friends on Saturday afternoon and they both remarked on how calm and collected I seem to be. Then one of the turned to me and said “I want me some of that. How are you doing it? How are you so calm even though you don’t have any direction?”

To be honest I was surprised that they had even noticed that I had changed. Over the years I’ve kind of felt myself to be “invisible” in the eyes of the world, and although I KNOW, through some of the background work I have been doing that this has changed, I didn’t realise that I was becoming very “visible” to those around me.

In reality this has filled me with an immense amount of joy! To answer their question on how . . . it’s really a combination of some major paradigm shifts in my approach to my world, daily meditation practice and observing my responses and reactions to things, to see where I can do better in terms of interacting with others with love, so that the best outcome for all is reached in a situation.

I listen a lot more these days too. Not having the “need” to be seen, now that I feel visible, makes such a difference in the way I feel internally. I don’t have a need to “fix” everyone and everything anymore. I’ve realised that although we have people in our lives to show us patterns we have that may need adjustment so we can be better, I don’t need to actively engage in their story if I don’t feel that it is my place to. When they are just a mirror of something I could do with acknowledging and accepting in myself, I just do that without buying into their story. A very liberating and much less stressful place to be.

I’ve also learned that the more I “push” at something the less likely I am to get it. This, because I have finally realised that when you try really hard to get something, somewhere, someone, then all your universe feels from you is “lack” and because this is an active vibration it just attracts more of this “lack” to you.

These days I focus on happiness, joy and love. I gently choose to notice all the wonderful things around me in my life everyday. Currently I’m enjoying the fact that my beautiful Reuben is lying beside me quietly snoozing whilst I write this piece. He’s a great big goofy lump of puppy dog and often tries to get my attention by jumping up and nudging me in my chair when I sit down to write because he wants to be seen too. I love that he sees me and loves me unconditionally. I believe being able to actively see what unconditional love looks like has also helped me to view the world differently and for this I am also very grateful.

So I say to you, if you are finding your life to be “hard”, feeling as though you have to “struggle” to attain the things you want, then maybe one afternoon instead of racing straight home after work, you may choose to go to the local park and really look at the majesty of the big trees there, stand under their branches and be thankful for their gift of shade. Start to really see the wonder of nature that we tend to race by every day and take it in and soon enough you may find yourself looking at other aspects of your life through different lenses too. Don’t be afraid to do better for yourself. You deserve it!