Dr Joe talks about overcoming your old subconscious programming when a situation happens that gets you wiring and firing all the old neural network connections that keep you feeling like your “old known” self. He mentions that you need to make a firm committed decision to NOT allow that programme to run when a familiar unsettling situation occurs that drives you to your negative emotional state, such as anger, fear, frustration, etc. That when you make a firm commitment to yourself to turf out this old programme, to consciously connect with your mind in an elevated emotional state, such as with love, joy, happiness, gratitude, etc. you raise your vibrational state even more towards the Quantum or Unified Field, the Divine.
Well, just such a situation happened to me this morning. My ex-husband and I have a very contentious relationship in regard to anything to do with our children, ie: money to be spent on them, having to spend time with them, taking them to activities. It’s all fine as long as I’m the one who spends time raising them, have them living with me and pay for everything, schooling, clothing, food, etc. for them.
Last week, however, I had had enough of being used by my youngest (16 yo) and sent him off to live with his father. This set in motion the need to have communication with my ex-husband again. Something I had not missed in the previous 6 years of our (non)relationship. Of course he has no idea as to why I would be upset about being disrespected by my own son, especially when I had gone out of my way to provide the best that I could for him. Not only did my son not appreciate it, but began treating me and speaking to me as though I were his servant. I’m not sure why my ex finds it hard to comprehend that I find that sort of behaviour towards me distasteful, but then . . . . I don’t really care to examine it any further.
So when I received an email this morning from him stating that this whole situation was my fault and that I really should take a long hard look at myself because I was the one creating all this drama. And that I should also look at how I behave from other people’s perspectives because that would clearly illustrate to me why I wasn’t being respected and that I shouldn’t be surprised by this outcome. Bam! All my old programming began to reboot and send me towards a very low vibrational state of anger, frustration and annoyance. Aaahh!
So I spent the next five minutes being very angry, frustrated and annoyed, and wondering which therapist of mine I could call to talk me down off the anger ledge I’d just climbed back onto. Then suddenly, I heard “no”. I would NOT allow this old programming to kick back in.
It is completely irrelevant whether he thinks I should or should not deserve the respect of my family. What IS important is that I not allow his opinion to have any impact on my elevated emotional state. I have been exceptionally happy and stress free these last few weeks and I suspect this little incident may be the universe’s way of giving me a little test to see if I really have learned my lessons in regard to the emotional manipulation games my ex likes to play with me.
Well, let me state categorically . . . . I HAVE! I have learned my lessons and I will not be used by my family anymore and that is that!
Picture a BIG smiley face here . . . . I’m chuffed with my life and the direction that it is heading. I am also resigned to the fact that part of my youngest son’s journey is that he needs to learn to appreciate the gifts others bestow on him, rather than just take them for granted, as he has done over the last couple of years with me, and that this part of his journey needs to take place with his father and step-mother, and not with me. I am well aware that I may not see or speak to him for a couple of years, but somehow I feel that this is a lesson that is better for him to learn now, at a young age, than later on when there may not be any family safety net around him to guide him.
I’m feeling measurably better already and once I’ve posted this will be taking Reuben out for a midday walk which will help elevate my vibration even further! Yay! Happy camper here!
Every challenging cloud really does have a silver lining. Emotions and reactions which, in the past, would have taken me weeks or months even to work through and get over, have now only taken five minutes and have enabled me to write this blog piece in only another ten minutes. It all goes to illustrate how far I have come on my journey from abandoned mother of three small children to the vibrant happy woman of 50 I am today!